This is so common that people have come to believe that chemistry is either there or it isn’t, and that you know within seconds.My professional experience tells me that this isn’t always true.

I’m a big proponent of physical chemistry in a relationship.

I think couples who don’t share strong chemistry may have additional problems during the ups and downs of a life together.

After 35 years of counseling couples, it has become clear to me that a strong physical bond helps two people want to fight through the problems between them.

It gives the relationship passion and drive in a way nothing else can. A particular person may not act on it immediately, but he or she feels the attraction within.

As you know, a first date can be a high-pressure situation. This can significantly alter the energy that flows between them.

Sometimes one of you has travelled a significant distance in order to meet.

This can also add to the sense of pressure and awkwardness.

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I could go on and on listing his great traits, but I never felt a sense of chemistry. This man obviously likes me, and has called for a second date. During our first evening together, I didn’t feel any chemistry with him, but will that come later? Your wonderful letter has gotten right to the heart of a common problem.

We had a simple kiss at the end of the night and I thought maybe that would jump-start the fireworks. Many e Harmony members have expressed the same question about chemistry, and I have some strong ideas for you to consider.

Should the fact that I don’t feel a strong sexual pull toward him on the first date mean anything?