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They are women of two worlds: they know Africa and also understand the West. Most of these women wanted a way out of the sorrow and the lack of opportunities in Kenya, Guinea, Botswana, Liberia, and Eritrea and elsewhere.
Why do African men go home to marry the “unknowns” instead of marrying the proven and the reliable here in the US? Once, he was the man who moved mountains and parted the heavens so it rained. The modern times have not been exactly good to him because of the multiplying effects of globalization and modernity. In Nigeria, Cameroon, Mali, Madagascar and Mauritania, it is about running away from the fetid and stifling conditions that stunts dreams and kill optimism. Therefore, when presented with the opportunity to hop, they pack and run!
Well, it is because (1) they can; (2) most men are under the illusion that the women they knew back home are innocent, un-spoilt and virginal; (3) it is an ego boosting exercise in that it allows them to demonstrate to their people back in Africa that they too can bring one of their own to the US; (4) it allows some men to mask their “failures and shortcomings” since the women who are already in the US can tell where they are on the social and economic ladder. He can be sweet and loving and caring and benevolent and at the same time oppressive. In so many ways, he is a wounded animal as a result of his historical past. Even though the outside world is depriving him of his manhood, he has found a way to make part of his world his playground. As for the men who go in search of these women, well, their mindset has been discussed. These women see ghosts and dream of “bad-bad-bad-things.” Depression and identity crisis then sets in.
Within the last eighteen months I have attended nine welcoming parties.
These are parties by friends and acquaintances who went to Africa, marry and successfully petitioned for their wives to come to the United States.
These types of parties, whether big or small, are taking place all over the US. Therefore, yesterday’s greenhorns will become the “ever-present and ever-knowing” of tomorrow.
The immigration process can be lengthy and frustrating — depending on the petitioner’s immigration status. The innocents will lose the mist in their eyes and become like all the women that came before them.
In the US at least, one could petition for his future wife by way of the Fiancé Visa provision or through outright marriage which could take upward of twenty months. But why do African men go though this tortuous and circuitous immigration process? Though the preceding assertion is not empirically grounded, one can not but notice that “greenhorn marriages” dissolve quicker — mostly within five years with or without offspring.
Why do African men go home to marry instead of marrying the women they’ve wined and dined and romanced right here in the US. More often than not most of these marriages are not based on love or affection.
Most of these women are well-educated, well-read and well-traveled; they are well mannered and have proven their reliability. Globalization and modernity may be creeping in on and chipping away at his manhood, he has found a way to protect his playground. To make his thoughts a reality, he marries a greenhorn. Most are not even like the marriages of yester-years: a contract and a union between two families.
They have demonstrated their abilities and capabilities in all matters marital. On the part of the greenhorns, it is mostly about the need to escape the prevailing abject poverty and hopelessness that has engulfed most African countries.