Sexy Spirits was established in 1999 in New York City to initiate and expand greater consciousness and awareness into our Livingness as a sexual body.

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And so, without further ado, here’s Tori…Tori: I spent a lot of my youth fighting.

When I was in high school I beat a girl with a baseball bat. So I put a baseball bat into her cheekbone and it imploded. She went to the hospital and had to have plastic surgery.

She thought I fucked her boyfriend, but I didn’t even know who she was. Afterwards she had scars all over her face; it was bad.

T: Well, I think I must’ve been about twelve years old when I started experimenting with drugs.

I ended up moving in with my grandparents back near where I used to live.

All my old friends were around, so it was back to getting high and everything else, until my grandparents kicked me out. T: Well, to be honest, I was wasted one night in college and still trying to figure out if porn was what I wanted to do. I’m really ready to go home now; I need to relax and shower.” That’s when he said: “You can shower here.” As soon as he said that—“you can shower here”—I knew something was wrong. I wouldn’t say it was just about sex; it was more about domination. Someone would go sleep, and then someone else would come and force me to do drugs. They didn’t want me to sober up because then I might’ve figured out how to get out of there.

I went to live with my dad for about a day and then he kicked me out too. I asked my friends, “Ok, if I was a porn star, what would my name be? At one point they had to tie me down because I was fighting so hard. When you’re high out of your mind, you’re not thinking very clearly. One time they took me to this one guy’s house, and this guy was a celebrity. T: Well she did show up, along with my ex-boyfriend. Do you think they’re going to believe anything you say right now?

I was never addicted to any one drug or another, but I was addicted to getting high, to getting outside my body, outside my mind. I’m done with this.” My grandparents happen to be filthy rich, and so I got shipped off to boot camp.

After boot camp, they recommended I go straight to boarding school, but my mom decided that I should be homeschooled instead, that way I could come home, but I wouldn’t have any contact with my old friends.